Two months later I have not even got a nibble from perspective jobs I've bid on. What I have got is a quick education on the employers who post on this site (mostly average people with million dollar ideas and nickel and dime budgets) and some very funny potential job offers.
Read on (I'm only including the best parts):
"We need 30 pictures.
We will pay $1 for each image.
SERIOUS APPLICANTS ONLY".
One whole dollar? Now I can buy that pack of gum I always wanted.
Need an 8 to 16 page coloring book illustrated for a 7 yr old that wrote the words. The 7 yr old needs it for a class project coming and the rough draft has to be done by Dec 17.
The best my dad ever did for me was take a couple sheet of Xerox paper, from work, so I could draw the cover for my book report.
Hi there! I need someone to design a "cartoon" pic of my sister. I think it would be a great gift for her. I have pics of her and would like her tattoos to be included in the design. She is a petite, with really dark black hair w/bangs. I want her wearing something Sexy in Black
From your description I'd like to see her in something sexy and black!
Here is someones opening pitch, who is looking for a book illustrator:
Imagine waking up to the wonder of a new day. A smile paints your face as you look at yourself in the mirror. The reflection back radiates confidence and accomplishment. You look deeper into yourself and realize that you have become someone new, someone that has employed their unimagineably creative gift in order to manifest the visions of another.
Are they looking for an illustrator or the Dalai Lama?
A perspective employer looking for a T-shirt Illustrator:
I will pay $40 for every 10 designs that I choose to be the final print. We may have to go through several drafts before I am happy with the final product. Must give me detailed updated reports on a daily basis. I don't want to see reports that look like this: "I'm working on it." I want either samples of your work that day, or some details about what you are doing, what style, and what colors.
...and If you don't follow my exact instructions, we will come to your house and kick your dog!
1 comment:
Now that was funny!
Thanks for making my Friday afternoon a better place to be!
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